Tag Archives: christine hassler

Are You Having a Quarter Life Crisis?

25 Nov

The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.  -Richard M. Nixon

When I turned 24 I felt like something was terribly wrong with my life. To the outside world, I should have been happy. I had a great, stable job with lots of perks and room for advancement, I had just purchased a condo with my long-term boyfriend and I had a bustling social calendar. But amidst all of that there seemed to be something wrong. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.  I’d always been a positive person so to be suddenly consumed with self-doubt and negativity really confused me. Part of me felt like I was being a spoiled brat – I had everything I needed plus more. What was I so upset about. To make matters worse, when I would half-jokingly mention to my friends that something felt wrong – that perhaps I was going through a quarter-life crisis – they would laugh. And so I laughed too, guiltily shoving my feelings deeper down and telling myself to snap out of it.  But as we all know, you can only suppress bad feelings for so long before they begin bubbling over and spilling into all aspects of your life. Oh and these feelings bubbled! I would suddenly burst into tears for no reason, I withdrew from hanging out with my friends and I bombarded myself with negative self-talk. To make matters worse, I worked from home at the time making it far too easy to just wear pajamas all day long and curl up in a ball and go to sleep during the middle of the day if things felt too much to bear.

I had unravelled.

I was face to face with my quarter-life crisis. Luckily,  I was able to start figuring out what felt so incredibly off about my life and begin taking steps to put things back together again.  I’d be lying if I said that there still aren’t days when I feel a bit confused or lost. The difference is that now I am armed with the tools to get over my slumps, learn from them and incorporate my learnings into my master plan.

So first things first. What the heck is a quarter-life crisis and how do I know if I’m in one??

Christine Hassler, an awesome life coach who also specializes in Quarter Life Crisis, published this test in the Huffington Post Blog to help identify a quarter life crisis.  Simply answer each questions quickly with a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without over thinking it:

1. Are you in a “funk” where you feel like nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing seems right either?
2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life?
3. Are you unmotivated, directionless or passionless?
4. Are you concerned that you don’t know what you want to do with your life?
5. Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order? 
6. Do you feel entitled to a life much grander than the one you are living?
7. Do you often feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless?
8. Do you feel a lot of pressure and expectations to do, have or be something?
9. Do you ever feel that time is running out in regards to figuring out your career and deciding whether you want to get married and/or have children?
10. Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?
11. Are you experiencing confusion or disappointment in your career?
12. Do you feel that you have failed because you don’t know what you want to do with your life?
13. Do you know what you want to do, but can’t seem to make it work?
14. Is it difficult for you to make decisions and when you do, you question them?
15. Do you over-analyze yourself?
16. Do you ever feel guilty for complaining about your life or feel like you are disappointing people (especially your parents)?
17. Are you embarrassed that you have not figured out more?
18. Is a breakup, romantic relationship, or lack of one causing you stress and/or sadness?
19. Are you still living at home with mom and dad?
20. Do you frequently compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don’t measure up?
21. Do you feel financially unstable?
22. Could your self-esteem use an upgrade?
23. Are you thinking about going back to grad school because you don’t know what else to do with your life?
24. Are you constantly thinking about the future resulting in anxiety and possibly panic?
25. Is your life just not at all turning out like you planned?

If you answered “yes” to 12 or more of the 25 questions above, you are likely to be experiencing a quarter life crisis. But don’t worry – that’s precisely why you’re here. We’ve identified what the problem is and now it is time to take steps to address it. You’re definitely not alone in how you feel and it’s perfectly normal to have these feelings of instability. This is actually a really exciting period of our lives. We’ve spent all this time until now living up to other’s expectations and fitting ourselves into very specific boxes. Now is the time to really explore who you truly are deep down inside. Now is the time to learn what makes our hearts soars and what drives us.  So let’s start digging – I know you’ll find someone truly incredible once we start.

-Nailah

Recommended Reading20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter Life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction by Christine Hassler

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