With A Little Help From My Friends

13 Apr

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.

 

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I had my bachelorette party/bridal shower this past weekend in Vegas. And as I shook what my mama gave me in Pure Nightclub, I couldn’t help but think about what an amazing group of friends and family I had. The whole weekend was flawless and everyone had gone to such great lengths to ensure that I had the perfect time. I returned home feeling energized and happy and loved. Having a strong social network is crucial to happiness. Studies even show that people who have a solid network of loved ones live longer than those of us who don’t. But making new friends as an adult woman is hard, isn’t it? And keeping strong friendships alive? Even harder. There are lots of ways that you can make new friends and maintain old ones. Here are just a few of my tips.

Do New Things – In order to find new, cool people you have to get out there. Join groups that are interesting to you. If you can’t find a group, start one. Volunteer or take a class. Say yes to happy hour and party invites. Much like dating, in order to make new friends you have to put yourself out there.

Do Unto Others – It’s the Golden Rule for a reason, you know. Treat your friends how you want to be treated and you’ll have friends for life. Remember birthdays, listen when they talk to you (don’t just wait for your turn to speak!) take a real interest in who they are and what they enjoy. They’ll be happy to return the favor.

Know What You Like – It’s important to know what you want in a friend. All of my friends inspire me greatly in some way, shape or form. And they all make me laugh and forget about whatever may ail me. There are lots of things I look for in a friend and I make sure to keep that in mind when I meet new ones.

Be Open – There are all kinds of different friends out there. I have my core group of friends that I hang out with all the time. I have friends from grade school or high school who I reconnect with once in a blue moon. I have online friends whom I’ve never met. Friends I explore new restaurants with. Friends I work with. Friends I volunteer with. Not all of these friends hold the same priority in my life but they’re friends nonetheless and they each hold a special place in my life. Be open to all kinds of friends.

Put in the Work – Make sure your friends know you appreciate them. Sometimes we take our good friends for granted. It’s always important to let them know just how awesome they are. Write them a note, treat them to dinner or just flat out tell them. It’s always nice to know you’re appreciated.

Don’t Be Afraid To Purge – Sometimes friends don’t work out the way you think they will. Maybe you’ve grown in different directions. Or maybe you’ve discovered that they’re giving off too much negative energy. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to cut your friends loose if they aren’t working for you. Cultivating and maintaining a friendship is hard work but it should never drain your energy.

Above all, know that friendship don’t come easy. It takes a long time to cultivate good friendships and you do have to put in your fair share of work. But in the end, it’s the best feeling in the world to look around you and realize you’re surrounded by the people you love most in this world.

Do you have any other techniques for making & keeping friends? What does your circle of friends look like?

Until Next Time,

Nailah

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One Response to “With A Little Help From My Friends”

  1. Kiana April 14, 2010 at 11:17 pm #

    You’re an awesome friend, don’t ever purge me. lol.

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